Belatedly, the sporting world is beginning to wise up to its potential role in containing the spread of COVID-19. Gatherings don’t get more mass than packed stands at Camp Nou, or Staples Center, or the MCG - indeed, news has emerged today that a spectator at Sunday’s historic Women’s T20 World Cup final has tested positive for COVID. We’ve seen a women’s quadrangular T20I series in Thailand and the Everest Premier League in Nepal cancelled - it took a while, but cricket is beginning to reckon with its place in this hyper-connected world.

The second option is that the show goes on but no-one gets to come - the Pakistan Super League has decided to keep the National Stadium in Karachi empty for the rest of that city’s games, and the IPL has postponed it’s start date till at least April 15, and even if it does start then it may be played behind closed doors.

Such a move would be unprecedented for cricket’s biggest, richest, and, yes, best T20 franchise league - so in the spirit of proper preparation, let’s take a look at some of the VERY SERIOUS AND IMPORTANT questions we have to come to terms with.

———

1. IF A TRUMPET SOUNDS IN AN EMPTY GROUND…

“Do-do-do-do-do do-do-doooo”! The IPL’s call blares brassily across the greensward, in search of a reply signifying that its overtures are to be reciprocated…but answer came there none.

The fan, sitting inches from their 65-inch flat screen, unfurls their flag like the tail of an amorous and man-made-fibre-clad peacock. As a single tear rolls down their cheek, a quiet “Whooo!” emerges…but the trumpet cannot hear. It parps again…but all is vain echo.

Will the bond between show and spectator ever be as strong again?

2. WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CAMERA OPERATORS?

No overwhelmed competition winners in sponsored polo shirts. No Bollywood star co-owners wearing mirrored sunglasses at midnight. No rotund men in their mid-sixties with oversized short-sleeved-shirts sitting on garden furniture who turn out to hold something akin to the power of life and death in their home city.

What will TV directors instruct their camera operators to focus on between overs instead? Here are some suggestions:

• Establishing shots of colourful local landmarks - Marine Drive in Mumbai, Chennai’s beaches, Lutyens’ Delhi, Danny Morrison, that sort of thing.

• Faf du Plessis. May be problematic before the watershed.

• Frequent and regular shots of the field placements (now that’s just silly talk - Ed.)

• And of course, there’s always #AngryKohliCam. There’s so much footage of the Royal Challengers Bangalore captain losing his mind as his team disintegrates around him that it’d be hard to fit the cricket in if you played all of it.

3. WILL CHENNAI’S EMPTY STANDS FINALLY FIND ACCEPTANCE?

Look back up to the top of this piece. Look at those empty stands on the western side of Chennai’s famous Chepauk stadium - for 5 years (okay yes 3 CSK were banned for a bit) they’ve looked longingly on as the other three sides of the ground have rocked and bounced with yellow shirted CSK ultras cheering every Imran Tahir celebrasprint, every slow-starting MS Dhoni rearguard, and every Suresh Raina hoick that somehow sails for six.

But now the northern, eastern and southern sides will join their fellow in stately solitude. With no Thala tifosi to keep them company, will they at long last embrace their long-lost lonely western sibling and unite Chepauk at long last?

4. CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK?

2 balls to go in the IPL final. 12 runs to win. Jasprit Bumrah bowls an inch-perfect inswinging yorker, which Andre Russell middles for six over third man while lying prone on the Wankhede turf three feet outside leg stump. The ball lands with a clatter in the top row of the third tier of the Sachin Tendulkar Stand.

The sole steward in the stand rises, sighs, and with weary legs begins the long trudge up the stairs. He’s made the ascent 16 times this evening, but 17 is too many. A row from the top, the knees buckle, the legs wobble and with a final gasp of “Maximum!” he collapses. They throw him in to rest, uncoffined, just as found, a new ball is offered from the reserve umpire’s magic suitcase, and at 10am the following morning MS Dhoni bowls Lasith Malinga to win the tournament in the last of 15 straight Super Overs.

5. IS IT EVEN WORTH IT?

What, you may ask, is the point of sport without fans? And it’s a fair question. Elite-level professional cricket is big business, and is a good livelihood for hundreds if not thousands of people - but is that enough to justify continuing what is supposed to be mass entertainment if that mass is stuck at home?

The answer is, of course, yes. Answer me this: if you’re self-isolating inside your toilet paper fort for two weeks, do you really want to do it with no cricket to watch?

Thought not. Sound the trumpet, and let the [non-attended] games begin!